Well I know it has been a while but I have not had a chance to chat with you guys about Cake Wars! All I can say is that it was something like never experienced before! To be honest with you, it was life changing! As most everyone knows I was able to compete as assistant to Joyce for the Trolls episode that we won. Just that in itself was so fun but I am gonna tell you how it changed things for my cake life and also personal life.
Taking on the responsibilities of being an assistant to someone let alone a very close friend is already very taxing. You do not want to let your friend down because of course the ultimate goal is to win. So personally I was already anxiously stressed about that. I am not one to take failure well. When I fail I feel as if I have let everyone down but mostly I feel like a failure. Preparing mentally for something like this can be hard. I just kept on reassuring myself that if Joyce did not feel I was capable of doing this then why in the heck would she want me on national TV with 10K on the line. I had to take a moment and literally look back. I went on my cake page and went to the very first cake I posted then scrolled one by one looking at every single cake I had made. I had visual
representation of how much I have grown in the past 4 years and that is when it clicked for me. I was gonna be the best damn cake friend assistant known to man kind if it killed me! I was looking at my success, determination, creativity and passion in those pictures. I knew that I was more than capable.
With myself in check next all the planning to actually get back to California to film. This was no ordinary trip, no this was a trip back HOME! it had been 8 long years since I had filled my lungs with California smog and smelled that sweet sweet smell of good Mexican food. My husband and I packed for a visit back to where it all started for us and in the same breath also to go be on Cake Wars! I was an emotional wreck inside and sometimes even outside. We packed, set up a pet sitter, closed down the day job, got new tires, serviced the car and of course he got all the music ready to go. Of course with one catch, my family had no idea! Yes, we were traveling 1200 miles to go back home, film cake wars and also surprise my family. It took us about 20 hours and let me tell you when we hot the state line I cried and breathed in the deepest breath I could of California air. I was home. I was gonna be on Cake wars with the homie. How was this even real life!
We got to Joyce's house and settled in for a quick 6 hour nap before we got up and started to work. So much is involved in the preparation of something so monumental and that includes a good old back yard session while the homie dyes your hair red. LOL! I remember getting in the shower and washing the dye out thinking about how amazing it all was. How did cake get me here? How?
Later that night we had a family style dinner and it was so delicious! We chatted over what we thought might happen on set, and tried to come up with some sort of strategy if we even made it to round 2. None of that mattered thought because when the cameras are rolling its more about making stuff happen then what strategy you thought you might use which you totally forgot about. We packed the car, kissed our family good bye and drove to the hotel. So much was going thru my head at that point. I was terrified, excited, worried, happy and just pretty much all these emotions were running in my brain. We got to set and man was that a experience!
The set, the Cake Wars set. I was standing on the set of a Food Network show. I was staring at it like a kid when the first see the Disneyland sign. Taking it all in. So humbled by it all. So thankful for the opportunity. It is much bigger than I thought. The lights are so bright too. Wow! Like just WOW! I remember looking at Joyce and booth of us just smiled the most biggest smiles in the world. It isn't everyday you get to do something along side someone that you care about so much.
We got ready that morning at the butt crack of dawn and I called my husband. He always helps calm my nerves but that day all I could silently think about was not letting him down. I did not want to let anyone down. I especially did not want to let Joyce down. All those emotions came up and I just covered them with a smile. It was a genuine smile but it was also covering up the fact that I was also super nervous about what was in store. We got to set and then well it was all a blur.
I remember getting on set and having breakfast, the handlers we had were so awesome by the way! They brought us breakfast, gave us a 5 minute warning. and reminded us to use the bathroom because it was out lat chance. We walked down the halls in a ling line, the door opened and I took a deep breath. With that deep breath every emotion of feeling worried went away, my game face was on and we were about to handle it! The rest is history really. We won!
After an entire day of filming we walked back thru the very halls we had that morning, exhausted, hurting, excited, and smiling from ear to ear! One of the handlers took us back to hotel and I remember just laying in that bed barely able to feel my feet but so happy. I mean soooooo happy! We left that morning to go be on Cake Wars which in itself is amazing but that night we came back Cake Wars Champions!!! I learned so much about myself during that trip.
I learned that even though sometimes I let my internal emotions psych me out that I need to trust myself. Trust my ability as a caker. I can not let my internal emotions make me stop what I want to do in life or dictate what I can and can not do. I for to many years stayed in the shadow of the "important cakers" thinking I had noting to offer to the cake world. I do have something to offer and I am just getting started! Another thing I learned, do not be afraid to make cake friends! Not all cake friends are gonna stick around but you will find that one or if you are lucky a handful of cakers who truly support you. Don't ever let them go! They are worth their weight in gold, trust me ion this one!!
Any who peeps I hope this gave you some insight into what can go thru someones brain when they are trying to do something epic but are also kinda scared. Do not not let it stop you! Never! Always remember "Bake it Till you Make it"